Holla! It's been a hot minute since I updated this and just spent some time reading some old entries and I really miss writing and blogging and all of that jazz. I also spent some time earlier reading the grant I wrote for my Grant/Proposal Writing class and I feel bummed because it's the last GOOD thing I wrote and I haven't thought about writing a damn thing since then. (Side note: I finally read the comments from my professor and aside from editing some silly punctual errors she told me that I have "amazing writing style" and that is... the second most amazing compliment I have ever received in my life.) Anyway, I think my point is that I miss doing things that I care about and having a tangible end-product whether it be something I've written or a musical/artistic accomplishment or something along those lines. *sigh*.

So yeah, I graduated and received my degree and everything has been pretty low key since then. I sat around and did nothing for a month and then started lifeguarding again. I finally got the official title of Head Guard, but I remain unimpressed with that "promotion". Pops (my dad) has been living with us since like the end of May and that's been interesting and stressful, but at the very least has inspired me to generally spend less time at my house (and consequently much less time on the internet.)

I've been feeling a bit crazy recently, but in a really exciting way. I get along really well with my mom. Seriously, she is one of my best friends, but like... she babies me and I can't stand it. Living with her is my only option at the moment because I don't have a consistent income or job and otherwise don't have any way to pay to not live here. Lifeguarding is the most depressing job I think I could have gotten after I graduated (I mean, I had this job when I was 16 and I feel ridiculous doing it while rocking a degree). So yeah, I am irritated with my living situation and job. I had originally wanted to go to Chile this coming march to teach English for a year, but I don't think I can survive between now and then. That would involve me getting another dead-end job and working the shit out of it simply to be able to afford to send myself there (read: I would be agreeing to waste more than 6 months of my life, which is ridiculous.) So the point is that... I am on the hunt for a Big Girl job and holding on to the hope of moving out. Now, this plan isn't quite enough for me.

This entry is fucking everywhere, but what I mean to say is that I can't bring myself to pay to move out of Mim's house to live less than 10 minutes away, so instead I want to send myself somewhere else to move out to and find a job. This would hopefully help calm my deep regrets of not going away to college (I fucking love Pittsburgh, but I really wish I had seized the easy opportunity to expand my horizons and live in another city). So yeah... I am trying to figure out a way that I can move to Washington DC with likefallingsand in a month and try to hang out there for awhile. People are going to give me shit for wanting to do this, but I am going stir crazy and need to get some relevant job experience under my belt before I can apply to graduate school anyway.

So... all of this job searching, apartment searching, ohmygod-am-I-really-capable-of-leaving-Pittsburgh-ing going on my in head is driving me crazy. I wish I had something serious to go on here (like a job, place to live, other kind of commitment), but I don't. I just really want to go and it seems to be perfectly spontaneous and necessary. I hope it works out. Cross your fingers for me?

I am into my last week of college ever and I'm excited, but still carefully avoiding the ever present "now what?" going on in my head. If you ask me, I'll tell you I have a plan (and will even spell it out for you), but it changes more often than my underwear. I don't know what I'm going to do and I don't know how I'm planning no doing it, either. As my brother pointed out to me the other day, I don't have any passionate convictions and instead spend all of my money trying to find something to care about. I don't think that's completely true, but I have found that I'm good at a bunch of things and interested in tons of different things, but none of them really DO IT for me, you know? Wahh.

For me, I am going to list what separates me from graduation:
- a presentation of my grant
- an 8-10 page paper in Spanish (maybe about hispanic gangs? I don't know?)
- watch a movie called "la vendedora de rosas" (I think)
- a natural disasters final (must... actually study or something)
- a literature and race final (must read 20 chapters of a book)
- finish my GIS group project and present it (mostly done)

In reference to the subject line, I haven't listened to Mariah Carey since... my mom bought 8 year-old me Butterfly for Christmas the year it was insanely popular. Every so often I get down to "All I want for Christmas is you" too, but mostly because of Love Actually as I didn't even know it was originally no her Christmas album. In any case, I kind of thought she had pulled a comeback of sorts with this "Bleeding Love" song. I had accidentally heard the whispy vocals of "Touch My Body" and have since tried to avoid it. (note: the CD player in my car is dead and the radio is the only thing that works, thus explaining my newfound infinite knowledge of popular music.) Anyway, imagine my surprise yesterday when my friend was singing "Bleeding Love" and I said something about Mariah finally pulling it together and Tim crushed my soul by telling me it's not done by her. Durrrrr. Well, it certainly sounds like a song she would do and the woman's voice sounds raelly similar. Tim told me her name is Leona Lewis, but it doesn't matter. Mariah is such a lost cause. Haha. I can't believe I'm even talking about this.

If you want to know how bad my life plan is, let's just say that it currently only involves people. It's not heartless or truly "doing people" (obvious if you know about me), but rather like I have people as a goal. And seriously, who lists ANYONE under a "goal" in a non-ijustwanttodoyou kind of way? And what's the point? Unreasonable, I know. But hey, if it keeps me moving in the direction I am currently in, not all bad can come of it.

Mim and I were discussing why I can't get a boyfriend to save my life and she told me that she thought it was because I was fat. She quickly recanted a bit and stressed that it didn't quite come out of her mouth as she wanted, but I totally got what she was saying. I think me being fat has stopped me from really living and being able to be comfortable in any facet of my life. It's not how other people treat me, but how I treat myself for it. It's silly, but I'm trying to work it out. In trying to work it out, I've lost 23lbs. and I'm excited. It's going slowly, but hey... it's better than nothing!

My yoga goal by the end of the summer is to be able to get my feet behind my head while laying down. Oh yeah, and to not feel like my legs are going to snap off at the hip while doing countless other poses. Gah. My body hurts.

Well, it’s been quite a while since my last update and since I decided to take this morning to allow myself to just kind of think for a little bit, I suppose catching up with this makes some sense. Not a whole lot has gone on for my recently, so I’m not sure what I’m planning on writing about here, anyway. For sure, my life has officially reached the point of mundane. Everything about what I have been doing is ordinary and boring. Well, I’m not sure how ordinary it is for any college student to essentially limit their activities to school work, going to the gym, sleeping and refreshing google-reader, but whatever. There are two weeks left in the actual semester, plus one week of “finals”. So only three weeks separate me from my degree (although I won’t actually get my degree until some weeks later, but this isn’t too important right now). So I don’t know, I’m just trying to get to April 27 and then I’ll try to come up with a bigger plan for myself. Haha.
I think I’ve done more work this semester than ever before. Does that even make sense? I’m a graduating senior – who voluntarily takes hard classes now or even 6 classes. Well, it was stupid, but it’s almost over. I’ve spent a lot of time this semester writing, writing, editing, and writing. It’s gotten to be a tad monotonous. I think the most frustrating class for me if my grant/proposal writing class. No matter what I do in that class, the professor tears it apart. It doesn’t matter how much I edit it or how good I think it is. And during her office hours, she always takes time to remind me that a) I’m doing better than pretty much everyone else in the class, and b) that I don’t have any plans for after graduation and that it would behoove me to get on that. I think her goal in life is to build my ego up simply to knock it down again – you know, as a joke of some sort.
This semester has been difficult for my brain. Not only am I not taking fluff classes as I had wholeheartedly intended to do, but they’re seriously kicking my ass. And for what? What am I going to do with my degree? Yeah. YEAH. Another problem I’ve been having recently is that I think I am in like… a funk of some sort. This happened whenever I came back from London, but didn’t last for nearly as long as this. I am hoping that once the weather get a little nicer (we are pulling up on close to 16 months of winter for me, which feels AWFUL) I will pull out of it. Or maybe once school is done. Or maybe some sweet mix of the two.
(This part of this entry is from... Thursday, I think. I wrote it, saved it, and just didn't post it because I'm an idiot.)



So, I finally started doing yoga. I'm easily sold on group exercise classes (step classes with old women to Hillary Duff remixes are still probably my favorite, but whatever), and despite the fact that I talked a lot of shit on other people for being so into this yoga nonsense, I finally gave in and went. And um, you know, loved it. Well, at least I'm assuming I loved it. I've been doing it at home (word up, onDemand!) all week and when kdiddy got to our class 20 minutes late, things went horribly wrong for me (weak, I know. And I left late, because that's how I roll, but there was an accident and traffic really just wasn't moving in the tunnels. Motherfuckers need to learn how to drive!) Anyway, we got there real ass late and it was packed. So we stood outside for a minute and I really wanted to cry. Crying = love, apparently. You know, it was either emotional attachment to the activity (or the fact that I had been looking forward to it all week) or I can just blame my currently cramping ovaries and the hormones associated with them. Fuckers.
And then I acted like a jackass (read: threw a mini-tantrum) because I get all kinds of irrational when things don't go as I want them to, and aside from the obvious impact of my lady hormones right now this was made worse by my currently stressed brain from school. Ugh. I feel drained and irritated and it's only 1:00pm. Maybe if I go run for a bit I'll feel better? Maybe I can run AND cry simultaneously and really feel better? Eh?

Seriously, last night sucked for me. I have been sick for probably 5 (or 6) weeks now and I thought it had gone away a little over a week ago, but my sweet cough seems to be back full-force. I'm thinking it's probably bronchitis and I should probably go to Pitt Health, but I don't have time. The only time this illness has been a REAL problem for me was during Scuba class. Last night we were simply hanging out around 12ft. and it felt like my head was going to explode. My sinuses are all screwy and I couldn't equalize like... at all. Ouch. But hey, I totally don't have money for the $50 missed class fee, so I went anyway.

Speaking of being sick, last night continued to suck when I tried to go to bed. I laid down around 1:45... and continued laying there. And then I got hot. And then I got cold. And I essentially tossed and turned until 6:00am when I started hacking and couldn't stop and admitted defeat. I'm thinking I slept about four hours total, but this was interrupted by hot spells, cold spells, tossing and turning. So tired.

I've never been one to have problems sleeping, as was reaffirmed this morning when I got into pipecock's car and told him about my inability to sleep. He looked and me and said "Blot, if there's one thing you're good at, it's sleeping. As a matter of fact, if there was a national sleeping team, I'm pretty sure the two of us would be the champions." And he's right - which is why I get so frustrated when I can't sleep. My body is obviously into sleeping for 12+ hours at a time and gets very unhappy when it doesn't get this. I never had a problem sleeping until I went to Argentina and it just hasn't gone away yet. My body should quit playing these tricks on me. I seriously don't think it's funny when I happen to wake up as the sun is coming up. Actually, that's a freaking awful way to begin my day. Ugh.

Word. I am off to class. And then to write an 8-10 page paper in Spanish, which is going to suck. And I'm supposed to see Be Kind, Rewind tonight, but who knows if that will actually happen. *sigh*.

I was on livejournal trying to get my friends page and I happened to notice the "Writer's Block" question of the day: What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone? This got me thinking about my lack of tact and how I frequently say mean things to people, even worse when I don't even notice I'm doing it. ( here's_my_long_story_about_being_a_meanie )

In other news, this weekend was pretty funny. Friday I didn't even bother to change out of my sleeping clothes which is simultaneously pathetic and amazing. Saturday Brittany came into Pittsburgh from IUP and talked me into going to Calico Jack's with her. I should have known better than to go, but I went anyway. It was smiilar to McFadden's (which I had the not-so-pleasurable experience of going to a few weeks ago) in that they're both mega huge bars filled with absolutely boring looking orange hoes with fake blonde hair and dudes with button down striped shirts. Fuck that. Also, they played Hannah Montana.... and everyone seemed to know the song, which made it even worse. I would rather use the internet than go places like that. Never. Again.

After we went there we took a taxi to a house party in... Crafton? Maybe? On the way there, I confessed to the taxi driver that I hate... pretty much everyone ever. To this he responded that I clearly need to get laid. Hahaha. That comment is one I've gotten quite used to hearing, but not usually from complete strangers. Awesome. And yeah... while there, I ran into kirbypuckett which was a little bit weird. He kept running away from me, but I guess I can't blame him. I also got to meet this dude I sort of went to high school with, but didn't really talk to until he found me on facebook like 3 years ago. That was a little weird, but really funny annnddd he was inebriated. He probably doesn't remember that I met him, but that's all right. I apologized to Brian Cain for my 21st birthday (I guess he was there... and I guess I professed my undying love for him. Hahaha) and... then I did it again. I love meeeee. And I clearly love Brian Cain, too.

Funny: I got to have the high school house party experience I never bothered to have in high school. I probably could have gotten through life happily without having experienced this kind of house party, but it was fun anyway.

Also, it's been at least a month since I last left my house on a Sunday... and I went out yesterday. Mostly out of necessity (Brittany had to get to Pittsburgh Mills in order to hook up with the dude who was driving her back to IUP), but whatever. It's an accomplishment in its own right I'm sure.




In other "me" news, I am still totally baffled. If I've talked to you recently on the internet and you're a good friend of mine I'm sure I've whined at you about it. I think my state of confusion has less to do with ANYONE and more to do with the fact that I love having control. I love holding the reigns in any kind of "relationship" (friends or otherwise). I don't like when anything happens strictly on someone else's terms without any consideration for my own. This is vague and that's fine. I probably got what I deserved, anyway.

I want to do "365 pictures / 365 days" of me, but I'm too lazy to actually start... and by the time I get home tonight I'll be looking real hot as it will be post-scuba class with my mascara hanging out somewhere along my lower cheek area. Hot. Maybe I'll start tomorrow? Maybe I need to quit putting things off until tomorrow? Meh.

I guess posting on lamejournal again isn't quite the same as running, but it's cold outside and I am a baby. A baby that is always cold anyway. Why contribute more to that if it's unnecessary?

SO, I am pretty sure that in my old age, my life will look something like this:



I mean... I'll try not to actually rock ON my cats (and yes, there will probably be more than one... as there already is more than one), but once senility and blindness set in, I guess it's a free-for-all. In any case, I think my point in posting this (as I often tell people that I am going to end up some batty spinster with a rocking chair, knitting needles and tons of cats) is this: I roll with my "vision" of old boltus because I don't know what else I CAN do. And although that's an extreme example, it works just the same. I don't want to do ANYTHING on the premise that I don't know what else to do. I've done that for far too long and it's gotten totally boring. Rolling with a default "dream" is just so... boring. I'll tell you I want to go to grad school. Do I really want to? No. What else can I do? Yeah, I'm at a loss with that one, too. Can anybody offer my any direction? Help?! Cue quarter life crisis?!! Haha.

In reference to my last post, I should probably limit my drunken internet usage, but I guess since I've been trying to limit my drunkenness in the first place, it's not a very big deal. Also, I suffer from gratuitous overuse (and misuse) of punctuation. Sorry.

I'm feeling bummed at the moment and I don't know why. I would love to have a good reason, though... because then maybe I could fix it. I've been doing really well for awhile now, but I'm just sitting here feeling kind of blagh. I'm boring. I don't really do anything ever and my friends are always busy / don't live in Pittsburgh. It's stupid. The only people I hang out with are Tom and Kelly, and I love them... but they're obligated to me. Haha. They could "choose" to never see me again, and it really wouldn't work out for them. Also, my writing style is weak and uninteresting. I can't re-read anything I've written without wanting to erase it. Whine. Whine. Whine. I need to find a job. It helps me organize my time / life better and otherwise feel more productive - it also makes it possible for me to be able to afford to live. Ugh. Feeling bad for myself is the biggest waste of my mental life!!!!

I'm going to cross my fingers that running will make me feel better and go to the gym!


Also, I need a job so I can buy more records. I spent this past Saturday moving 720 records (read: going through the crates of records while Tom and Andrew moved the heavy shit that would have defeated me) and there are so many records that I want / need. My knowledge about music is actually, you know, existent these days and I should probably take advantage of that. Or at least dedicate my brain to doing something I care about as school isn't cutting it anymore (mostly because I can't wait to graduate AND I really do not care about any of the classes I am taking this semester).

Chau!

Hmmm... let's recap recent life.
This evening, I went to see the MONSTER TRUCK Jam and it was a fairly strange experience. I'm not sure what kind of people I had assumed would be in attendance, but it was a little bit off. There were fewer people than I expected just to experience the irony and a lot more.... USA-loving people. I had figured that some certain demographics would be highly represented, but am still surprised by their feelings toward things like patriotism and God. Seriously, there were some awkward moments that involved the announcer saying shit like "let's put our hands together for those in the armed forces that allow us to be here tonight" and I mean, are we seriously insinuating that ANYONE is fighting for the right of ANYBODY ELSE to attend a monster truck rally?

Anyway, overt patriotism aside, it was pretty okay. I started to fall asleep after the intermission and after the motocross "competition", but there wasn't a whole lot of action going on to begin with. I was pretty excited because I thought they'd be big truck continuously smashing shit, but there were really long breaks in between the smashing events. *sigh*.

After that, I went to the Z-Lounge to see some dude play some records. It was pretty good - I gave my best dancing efforts, which is always funny to watch, I'm sure. Despite the fact that I love dancing, I dance like the whitest girl on the planet. *sigh*. Umm.... I talked some shit about a friend saying that the dude was either having a heart attack or channeling his inner shaman. I'm pretty sure that's the funniest thing I've said in a long time (or at least for today). And yeah. After this club outing was all said and one (as in... Tom and Jwan were ready to head to the afterparty), I was sufficiently fucked up, which explains why I'm trying to blog right now, anyway.

I sort of had a Valentine's Day date. Not for the sake of Valentine's Day, really, but it happen to coincide with the day. I think that went okay, but it's likely because I'm ignoring some deeply embarrassing actions and / or am not judging my awkweirdness appropriately. Haha.

Annnddd.... I went to Weight Watchers today and I've lost a total of 13 pounds. They got on me for my loss this week, and essentially told me that I'm not eating enough, but they're wrong. I just think I've been eating exactly what the program wants / expects me to eat and I'm finally seeing SOME results from it. I've been running for 65 minutes 4-5 times per week, too. This has GOT to be helping me out! Duh! Anyway, I hope I find some sense of dedication deep within me that makes me continue on with this as I am - I am so unhappy being fat... it really makes me hate myself, and I'm a bit over feeling that way.

Even if I haven't been in touch in awhile, I hope you're all doing well!

Oh yeah, real quickly: one of my livejournal friends (which, duh, I knew for realz) defriended me a few weeks ago and, despite the fact that I got irritated with her everytime she posted, I'm a little bothered by the fact that she defriended me without any warning or reason. That's so beat. Fuck "relationships" that are on anyone's terms but my own.

Oh yeah, I was watching the Biz Markie video earlier for "Just A Friend" and remembered my fondness for "yo mama" jokes, hence the subject line. I tried to impress Tom and Kelly tonight with my best ones, but I think I just got progressively offensive. Hardy har har. I loved having "yo mama" joke contests on the bus to elementary school - those were my golden days, for sure!

( And )

I am love, love, LOVING that song right now (the one in my subject line, obviously). It's stuck in my head in the worst kind of way - and I know I've already reached the point of annoying everyone I know by singing it at all times. I wonder if it's possible to completely ruin songs for other people in this manner? Meh...

( School_Talk_Nonsense )

In other less boring news, I've seen people at Pitt the past 2 weeks rocking flip-flops. Seriously, what the fuck? Everyone knows your feet are cold - I don't know who you're trying to kid. When someone is wearing a winter jacket with the hood up and flip-flops, they seriously look like fucking morons. Uggghhhh.

Also on the list of things that have been irritating me recently at school is people saying things such as "my bad" or "my fault" in lieu of "I'm sorry". Look, if you fucking walk into me on the street or hit me with YOUR jacket when you are taking it off, it is obviously your fault. Telling me that it's your fault means nothing to me as I am already aware of this. And really, what does "my bad" even mean? Well, honestly, it means nothing to me. "I'm sorry", however, means something to everyone and I don't think there's ever a good substitute for it when that's what you mean (or should mean). This shit gets on my nerves so bad - didn't anyone ever learn manners? Didn't anyone happen to pick them up along the way of life? I'm not sure I always said sorry for things and sometimes I do say "my bad", but I guess I understand that there are times (namely with complete strangers) where "I'm sorry" becomes necessary. Is this expecting too much of other people?!

I can think of two other subjects I'd really like to ramble about, but I'll have to do it some other time. I have class soon and haven't even started the reading for it (the professor said that he will give us pop quizzes on the literature and I'm thinking this is going to kick my ass someday). Speaking of the professor, he is the most attractive professor on the planet - his bicep is practically the size of my head and he is BEAUTIFUL!!!! AHhhh!! And he has a PhD. and I find education in itself to be really attractive. *sigh*.

I'm only good for memes nowadays. Speaking of memes, I made the mistake last week of trying to say that word in legit conversation, and pronounced it "me-me", instead of meme (which I feel inclined to point out SHOULD rhyme with "beam"). Whatever. I should have buried that as it happened, but instead I'm telling ya'll about it. Feel privileged, okay?

( I_had_an_amazing_year_that_I_didn't_bother_to_log_on_LJ.... )

And yeah... so I'm obviously back in the United States. I got back on December 15 and I haven't done a whole lot since I've been back (a lot of my friends haven't been around, everyone has family type activities to take care of, I don't have any money, it's cold, blah blah blah). Whenever I got back, it was snowing and I was wearing a tank top and flip-flops. That's right, from 90degree weather to below freezing. Very shocking. Very unenjoyable. I'm happy to see everyone again, but I still crave warm weather and just a chance to REALLY chill out. I'm looking forward to summer, it'll have been two years between my most recent summers, which sucks... and yeah, I don't really feel like going to school in a week, but I AM looking forward to graduating in April, so that's enough to keep me going on that front. I've spent a lot of time recently going through my photos and editing them and deleting them and I'm going to try to upload them sometime this week. I seriously took about 10,000 pictures in the 6 months I was gone. By this point, I've deleted the majority of the really bad ones, but... I don't know. I just really have a lot of pictures. So far, I've only been able to corner my mother and Stacey into looking at them with me, but I guess I understand how they could be dreadfully boring for anyone who wasn't there. *sigh*. I thought I didn't like Argentina while I was there, but I'm pretty sure I just hated living with Graciela. I'm going to have to make an entry about her, but I don't have enough time to really get into her right at this moment. It's sufficient to say that, two days before I left, she sat me down and told me a) that she hated me, an b) that she couldn't wait until I left. Sweet. Anyway, I miss Argentina and public transportation and warm weather.

How are my ya'll doing? I haven't been good about commenting since I went to Buenos Aires and I also wasn't always good at reading them. Help me out?!

The subject is a true story. I´ve met a few in the past days that have the same SWEET curly hair, amazing noses, dark skin.... non-US citizenship, and are just really really great people. Mmhmmm. I had decided earlier this week that I want to learn French next (I was debating between arabic, french and portuguese). I mean, I´ve got to send myself to either France or Israel to find me a husband, and I´m thinking French is probably easier to learn than Hebrew, but maybe not? Haha.

In any case, I leave Quito tomorrow evening and have an overnight-ish flight to Buenos Aires (I land at 7:40am on Thursday) and then I spend about 36 hours there and leave for the United States on Friday night around8pm or so. That´s wild, right? I am excited to go home, but still love traveling so much. Hmmm... I suppose it will be okay. I am not prepared to leave the REALLY nice weather here and trade it in for the snow of Pittsburgh, but I don´t have much of a choice. I really organized my trip to Buenos Aires poorly - I made it so that, in 15 months, I will have had 3 winters. Fucccckkkk thhhaaattt. If I had a brain, I would have made it so I had 3 SUMMERS instead. Oh well. Much too late for that kind of regret now, eh?

See ya´ll soon! I get to Pittsburgh sometime in the afternoon on Saturday. Holla?!

( And )

( retrospective_ramblings_about_travel_nonsense_since_the_last_entry )


So in Cuzco, I didn{t really go out much. By didn{t really go out much I mean... I stayed in a single room in an actual like... Hotel because I had to wake up REALLY early almost every day and just didn{t feel like dealing with the pressure to hang out / go out with people.

But now that I{m in Quito, I am staying at some party hostel type place (3 nights a week they have 12 free liters of rum and coke) and... I{m not sure how I feel about it. It{s really easy to meet people, yeah, but a lot of the people I met last night were fucking creepy as men. I don{t know - if you know me, you probably know I don{t really like to be touched. Now, this is slowly changing for me - I have even found myself casually touching other people in conversation recently. However, this doesn{t apply to people I don{t know well, which is obviously where the people in this hostel stand, but that doesn{t stop them. The one dude last night kept touching my face, specifically my nose, and it was fucking creeptastic. A few of them kept touching my leg, which was always met with a rather surly look on my end, but I suppose that{s expected. I don{t know... I guess the assumption is that if you{re in a party hostel and drinking, you probably want to be a sleazeball. Now, it{s not beyond me to act out in that way under these circumstances, but it{s never been thrown at me quite like this. I don{t know. It{s weird. Whatever.

I am off to... try to move my pictures from my memory cards to a DVD and find an ATM because I am brokkkkeeee.
}
XOXO!

So... I am completely done with school and Buenos Aires... I suppose I was done by like... November 9, or even the week before that. My classes were a joke and I got all A{s and one B+.

Since then, I hit up El Calafate, which is in Patagonia (southern Argentina) and explored some glaciers. Got to go on a tour of them from boat, but also did a trekking trip where we put on really sweet ice hiking shoes and hiked on the Glacier Perito Moreno, which was AMAZING. It{s funny... I usually get sick of hiking after like... 30 minutes, but it seems that if you put ice shoes oin my feet, I don{t eve want to stop! I have beautiful pictures - I{ll post them whenever I get a chance.

Took a bus from El Calafate to Bariloche - 12 hours one day, 14 the next. LONG ASS BUS RIDE, but it was really beautiful.

After El Calafate, I went to Bariloche, which is a beautiful city situated on a lake up in the Andes, and surrounded by 6 other lakes. Also amazing - and I have amazing pictures. While there I went zip-lining, which was really really fun, but not nearly as frightening as I thought it was going to be....

Then I took a bus from Bariloche to Buenos Aires.

That same night (last night) I flew from Buenos Aires to Santiago. Want to hear about how I{m the luckiest bitch on the planet? I had the taxi pick me up at 830 because I thought my flight was at 1135. I was actually going to be WELL on time for my flight. So I get to the airport around 930, and the guy gives me a funny look whenever I tell him which flight I was checking in for. Know why? Because it was really scheduled to leave at 935 and I{m a moron adn read 2135 as 1135. Durrrrrr. BUT - here{s the lucky part - it turns out that it had been delayed for 1.5 hours anyway, so I didn{t miss it! Yay!

Then I slept for a few hours in Santiago{s airport (I did that on the way to Easter Island too - it wasn{t any more comfortable or warm this time around)...WEIRD THING ABOUT SANTIAGO{S AIRPORT; every gift store opened at 6am, but starbucks. How was that shit still closed?! I think they were torturing me... moving on...

Then I hopped on a plane this morning to Iquique (don{t even know where that is - couldn{t even point it out on a map) and then to La Paz Bolivia, where I currently am. Now, I showed up to la Paz and expected that at some point between Buenos Aires and here I{d be able to look up my stuff for my Hostel reservation here (because you KNOW i didn{t write any of it down), but turns out the Internet Cafes in Santiago were all closed while I was there and La Paz doesn{t have them at the airport. AGAIN - I{m a lucky bitch because I only half-heartedly signed up for a free text from my hostel booking and as SOON as I stepped off of the airplane, I got a text with all of my booking information. SWEEEEEET!!!!!

The airport in La Paz kind of was a pain in the ass.... Obviously La Paz has really high altitude, and it{s more difficult to breathe the air here, so as a mean joke, they put the bathrooms DOWN two flights of steps, so not only could I not breathe in general, but I had to carry all of my shit down (and then up) two flights of steps.

I took a taxi to my hostel, but there was some really big protest going on, so he ended up making me get out before I actually got to my hostel, and I got to walk again. niccceeee.

La Paz is the South American experience I wanted - the one that I totally didn{t get in Buenos Aires. Everything about it is just so... South America. The people look very distinctive, they still look native, and they still dress in native clothing, which I think is really cool. I can understand the accents better here and the people are really nice.

Side note; I saw a little boy (maybe about 10?) pooping on the sidewalk today. I{m going to admit that I felt a little bit awkward / disgusted about that, but you{ll have that.

I got to deal today with being light headed, exhausted, nauseous, and out of breath. It was some mixture of the altitude, lack of food, me already being sick (thanks sinus infection!) and I don{t know... traveling alone (because that{s inherently stressful?).

This locutorio is about to close, and I suppose I should get some sleep. I am taking a bus to a town called Copacabana tomorrow some time, which is on the shores of Lake Titicaca, and I{ll try to update again soon.

If you{re curious, after that I go to Isla del Sol (an island in Lake Titicaca) and then to Cuzco, Machu Picchu, Quito, The Galapagos, Quito, Buenos Aires, Chicago, Pittsburgh. Not quite that fast, but I{m sure it will feel that way.

This traveling thing is feeling a little bit difficult at the moment - on one hand, I am doing AMAZING things and seeing things I had only ever dreamed about... on the other, however, i{d like to see my family and be comfortable and just... I don{t know... be home.

P.S. - Remind me to make a post dedicated to Grizelda, okay? In case you don{t already knoiw, she{s the crazy bitch I lived with in Buenos Aires and I fucking hate her. Word?!

Hey dudes!!!! I am currently in Easter Island... living the dream, I suppose. I´ve had a fairly bad day today, but I really do love everything about it here. On the way here, I chose to sleep in Santiago´s airport assuming that it wouldn´t be that bad... Well, I spent a little over 13 hours there. When it came to sleeping, there weren´t arm rests between the chairs or anything, but they were metal... and Santiago is quite cold. So, basically, I was freezing to death in an airport terminal (although there were about 24 other people there sleeping around me, so at least I wasn´t alone). Well, our plane was supposed to take off in the morning... so I hit up the Dunkin´Donuts and headed through security... only to discover (act excited!!!) that there´s a Starbucks in Santiago´s Airport. At said Starbucks, I received the most overly milky, unespresso-y iced caramel macchiatto of my life. Talk about a fucking let down!!!! So, eventually, we get on the plane. I hadn´t really slept so I sat down and went right to sleep... and I even felt the plane pull away from the gate. And then shortly I felt us pull forward again... I guess something had gone wrong on the plane (you know damn well I couldn´t understand their announcements) and our plane got delayed by 3 hours. Sweeeet. I met a British couple (I had been sitting beside the girl) and they were really cool. Eventually got to Easter Island, got a cabana with the British couple (well, at the same place.... we had separate rooms). And, yeah... I suppose the rest is best shown through the pictures I´ve taken, which I can´t really show you just yet.

But seriously, this island is beautiful. Do you know what´s more beautiful than the island itself? The people living here. OH MY GOD they´re all fucking beautiful. I went on a tour yesterday (in a torrential downpour, onfortunately) and the tourguide was like "yeah, when I first got here I had to ask myself how they even MADE them that way" and I can´t help but agree with him. The women are beautiful, but the men are ammaazzzinnngg. They typically have long, vaguely wavy very dark hair and are just... perfect. Their skin color is beautiful and they´re soooooo nice (unlike the creepers in Buenos Aires!). Not surprisingly, I want to stay here. For ever. Or at least for a little while. The population is about 3,000 people and I´m sure that would get old a little bit quickly (especially since not everyone here even speaks spanish, let alone english)... In any case, the dudes here are so sweet. But like... I can´t help but feel (or KNOW) that to them, I am probably just "rich" and a ticket off of the island. I mean, I´m not completely against being that to someone, but.... hahaha. I don´t want it to be JUST that. But I guess it´s fair - I´ll use them for their beauty and hair and they can use me to get off of the island. Good plan!

I´ll holler at ya´ll later - I´m having dinner with these two really awesome dutch girls I met yesterday.... yay!

Right now... there is a really huge blister on my foot that hurts so badly it feels like it is fizzing. Other than that, I am hanging out in Buenos Aires and am, not surprisingly considering my recent track record, putting off doing my Spanish homework for a (very) short livejournal update, mostly to let yinz know that I made it here safely and haven't been kidnapped/robbed yet. I'm going to make a short list of some ups and downs I've been having:

+ my homestay mom, Graciela is reaaaallly sweet.
- I'm pretty sure she made some outwardly racist remarks to me the other day, and I'm also pretty sure that she tried talking to me about politics and is conservative.
+ people are hardcore into coffee here and drink it multiple times every day
- getting coffee never takes less than an hour and they don't offer it "to go".
- the service absolutely everywhere is painstakingly slow. i am probably going to have a heart attack about this.
- the sidewalks are awful, lumpy and have holes in them. to make matter worse, there is dog poop scattered (or smeared, depending) all over them.
+ there are dogs and kitties everywhere and they're all really sweet.
+ mate is my jam!
+ eating dinner at 930pm and going out no earlier than 1200am is the only socially acceptable way to live.
- men are creepy.
+ everything is cheap.
- Thus my spending habits have increased.
+ The people I've met on my program are really really cool
- I don't really know Spanish very well.
- The accent here is really fucking difficult to understand.
- No one understands my pittsburghese references. *sigh*.

End. I'm uploading pictures and stuff tomorrow, swear. Along with a real-ish update.... Mmmhmmm!

... just brought a baby bunny into the house and essentially tore it apart. By the time I got to it, the majority of skin/fur from its one side was missing and the poor thing was bleeding a great deal. I found comfort in the fact that, at the very least, the baby bunny was dead.... until I saw it breathe. So then I got to spend an hour of my morning being angry at my cat and petting a slowly dying bunny (rip). It was small enough that it barely filled the palm of my hand. That cat is seriously such an asshole. Now I'm going to get ready to go to Canada today and cry about the baby bun. Thanks, cat.

Living in my house right now, I have three animals - one dog (Sheba) and two cats (Puss and Stella)... and I looovveee them all to death. Even so, they're not allowed in my bedroom. Ever. under any circumstances. Their presence makes me sneeze a little bit, which is find when I'm awake, but rather irritating when I'm trying to sleep. It also doesn't help that the television is loudly blaring all night every night (don't even ask me to explain this) and I otherwise have to keep my door shut to block out the noise, or else I can't sleep well.

Anyway, the kitten, Stella, goes out of her way to find me sometimes. For example, the other night she jumped up on the window sill of the computer room and was purring at the window and then came in through the house and was scratching at the door until I would let her in here so she could act cute and crawl up onto my lap and go to sleep.

In any case, I was sleeping last night and all of a sudden I felt something land on my legs. Totally freaked out, I sat up and was greeted be Stella trying to lay down on my legs. I looked toward the door, expecting that I had absentmindedly left it open when I went to bed, but it was still closed. Then I assumed that she had been in my room the entire time and I just hadn't noticed. She hopped back up onto the window sill and i went to get her down (to place her back outside of my room so I could resume sleeping) and I realized that the screen was open. At this point, I was a little bit confused. I went out to the living room and Pops was up (I'm not sure why - it was like 630am) and I asked him about the cat and he told me that she had come in through the house, waited at my bedroom door for a minute, and then ran back outside.

So apparently, the kitten learned how to open up my screen so she can get into my room at night and cuddle. Which is both cute and very irritating.

In other kitten news, and as I was writing this entry, I was summoned from the computer to help wrestle a snake off of the cat. See, the kitten has a thing for catching snakes, which in itself isn't that bed, I suppose... However, she keeps trying to bring them into the house. And I swear if she brings a snake into my house (or more specifically, into my bedroom), I am going to choke it. For the past few days there has been a rather large splotch of blood on the patio outside from the last time it caught a snake. *shudders*. Grubby cat.

P.s. kdiddy, I figured you'd be interested to know that the battle over the Americone Dream ice cream continues. Pops just came in inquiring about it, because he told me that seeing snakes, for some reason or another, channels his inner desire to eat ice cream. And then he got mad at me and mim for eating it, claiming it was his. Whatever.

OH YEAH! I ended up having the best semester of my academic career in terms of GPA and grades and whatnot, so I guess all of that last-minute stress and struggle and irritation paid off in the end. Even so, and in being me, I'm a little disappointed with my GPA as well as my QPA as I think they could have and should have been higher. I guess no matter what I do I'll never be impressed with myself. Or even satisfied with myself. *sigh*.

Hmmm... I had a good weekend.

( (Insert_Quick_Weekend_Synopsis_Here): )

To pour some salt on my skiwounds (which are obviously not REAL open wounds) I am feeling all grumpy and crampy today, which I hattteeee. I can also feel a cold creeping into the back of my throat, so now it's among my top priorities to OD on Vitamin C and try to stop this sickness from happening. Uggghhh.


Also, I got some pimp ass ski goggles yesterday - they're pink and I love them. And I shouldn't have purchased them, but I couldn't help myself.

The roads on the way home were immaculate and dry, which was a nice chance of pace from the roads on the way up. I got home late and pretty much died when I went to bed. And now I'm at school updating livejournal instead of doing homework. I am also about to be late meeting my friend Katy (whom I haven't seen in well over a year) in Shadyside for dinner.

Yay. I am kind of having a good day despite... well, some things. Hope yinz are doing well and I'm sorry that this entry is boring, but I don't know what else to write about.

I haven't been skiing in three or four years. I love the snow and I love skiing - I think it's amazingly fun and stuff and am really sad that I haven't gone at all recently (save for last winter when I obviously was not in the United States). BUT ANYWAY, as I'm sure you're all aware, we got a lot of snow recently and I re-fell in love with it (actually this happened as soon as I put on all of my snow clothes in order to go play in the snow with the nephew, kdiddy and pipecock. Anyway, now I really really really need to go skiing/snowboarding - and this is wear yinz guys come in. Anyone interested in heading up to Seven Springs for a hot minute this weekend? I don't work Saturday or Sunday, so either day works for me. I say I ski, but really I use skiboards (if you don't know, don't ask) but I have skis as well. Admittedly, I am very good at skiing and will go down absolutely any hill ever, which might not work out for some of you. If this is the case, I am even willing to snowboard. It's something I've also done a bunch of times, but I'm much worse at it than I am at skiing. So, any takers? Anyone remotely interested? I am going to go stir crazy if I don't get out there this weekend and skiing isn't the type of activity (or drive) I would really like to do on my own. Plz plz plz?! Help?! I need it? I'll love you - I don't even care who you are?! Let me knoowwwww!

Okay, livejournal - I've missed you. And I'm going to (seriously this time) try to get back into using and abusing you.

On a related note, I haven't talked to the majority of you in a rather long time. How are yinz? (you should consider replying and telling me how you are - I've been bad at keeping up with your livejournals as well, what can I say?) Can we please hang out? Get tea or something? I am a huge fan of tea dates and, seeing as how I'm under 21 for only 50 more days, I suppose now is the time to try to OD on these before I decide that drowning my sorrows in vodka is much more appealing than drinking peppermint tea and eating fortune cookies/runts.

(Let me start with something easy to digest, okay?)

So I am taking a class called Race, Caste and Ethnicity in a Global Perspective. I really enjoy this class, but I have to write a whole lot for it AND it's not even a "W" class (and I am currently taking both of my required "W" classes, so I'd really like some mindless class discussion or something, thank you). Anyway... there's a boy in my class named Matt (I think) annnndddd as we were doing introductions around the room the first day of class (durrrr) he said, for his "interesting fact", that he was an exchange student from England. So maybe a week or two ago, I got the fancy job of passing back papers (am I still in middle school or what?!) and I ended up sitting by him. Being me, and being an avid lover of everrrryyytthinggg british save for their dudes, I asked him where he was from in England. Blah blah blah, no big deal. It occurerd to me later that he probably thought I was macking on him. But, you know, not big deal - I get that a lot even when I don't mean it and, honestly, I never intended to talk to the kid again. Fast forward to today... I was trying to get my friend's attention by making absurd/funny faces at her (because, yes, I am still in middle school) and she laughed at me, but simultaneously, Matt smiled really big and kind of threw me a slight wave, which would be awesome if I had been trying to mack on him (or had ever intended to do so), but I wasn't. And I don't. And now it's just awkward. I've seen him twice since then... and he keeps smiling at me. And you know what? It makes me want to run quickly in the opposite direction. *sigh*. We all know that had I actually tried to hit on him or found him attractive, it wouldn't work out this way, but this only seems to be going okay because it's EXACTLY what I don't want. Hahaha. How embarrassing. Awkwardness, how I love/loathe theeeeee.

All right. Back to the paper I am procrastinating on - You know, the one that was due at 11am this morning. Hardy har har. *vomits*.

P.S. My livejournal layout sucks annnnddd I don't know balls about trying to fix that. Anyone want to help a sister out? iamairless or likefallingsand, I suppose I'm looking at you guys on this one!!!! (assuming you're still reading this!)

Despite having done a lot of very interesting and new things in 2006, there's still a lot I am angry with myself both for having done and not having done. That being said, I feel like kind of a n asshole for being glad that it's over. I mean, realistically, tomorrow is not going to be any more different from today than today was from yesterday... and two months from now won't inherently be vastly different from two months ago - so essentially rejoicing over the coming of the new year is pretty stupid. Alas, I am excited to see it go. I'm thinking it started out kind of okay (you know - crampy and whiny) and then got better (London) and then got absolutely fucking fantastic (once I started to love everyone in London and began some serious traveling) and then it all went downhill from there. I've been more broke since may (when I got back to Pittsburgh) than I've ever been in my entire life. I lost touch with a lot of my friends (and now consequently have even less friends than before I went abroad - which is a feat in itself) and eventually evolved into a detached, emotional disaster. On top of that, I didn't do well in school, remained broke and now I'm sitting here on new years eve writing in my livejournal (which I rarely do anymore) because the person I was supposed to go out with (you know - my saving grace for this evening) backed out on me. On the upside of 2006, I did get a new kitten. The past week has been kind of garbage and a lot of bad things have happened (and, more importantly, a lot of people who are important to people whom I really care about have died) and I'm just not sad to say goodbye to 2006. I'm not particularly unhappy with 2006 (despite the obvious downward post-London spiral), but I've got my hoes up for 2007... and self improvement and more traveling and not being broke and stuff like that. I feel better now... I am probably going to move from the computer to mojitos... because that shit is the bomb...


ready, set:

( every_freaking_new_years_survey_i_could_get_my_paws_on )

Cheers, dudes! Have a goood evening!

P.s. Tom and kelly - don't even think about abandoning me for new years next year. for serious!!!

Remember that one time where I wasted my entire fucking day not doing the paper that needed to be turned in the next day? Come on now... you've GOT to remember it! My only class was cancelled that day? I only left the house to get a marble mocha from starcbucks?! The paper was already two weeks late? I had no excuse for not starting it before 11:00pm?!


FUUUCCCCKKKK. I hate me sometimes. And I hate my procrastination habits all of the time. The nice part about this situation, however, is that I talked to my advisor (and the professor who advises this class/paper I am writing about my semester abroad) and all is well and she doesn't seem to care that I am turning it in about two weeks late. That alone was a weight off of my shoulders, let me tell you! I pretty much love her.... she reminds me of me. She just kind of doesn't care... or to explain it better, she's just really mellow. Also, even if I have to stay up alllllll night to get this fucker done, it's the last I time I am going to have to think about it. I will slide it under her door tomorrow morning (or physically hand it to her in the unlikely event she is actually in her office) and it will be out of my life FOREVER. Thank god for pass/fail 3-credit papers, right?!

I want to quit being so vulgar.... and soon. But not yet......

Off-topic addedness:
-I think I love the all-american rejects!
-I got an international urbanism class spring semester that I am really excited about!
-I am pretty sure I am going to Argentina in June and I'm thrilled, but SO nervous about it already!
-I can't believe it's so cold out. Aggghhhh. Mim even suggested I turn the furnace on. (mim! + the furnace! - who knew?)
-I NNNEEEEEEDDDDD a job. and really soon. I have expensive spending habits and being broke doesn't cater to them. At all.
-I want to start writing more. Although, thanks to my Intro to Journalism class, I KNOW I don't ever ever ever want to write for a newspaper. Ever. Silly dream stomping class!
- reve_de_moi and I only call one another to offer updates on the marital status of the hanson brothers. is that weird?
-I am in a good mood right now and I don't know why, but I'm smiling. And that's fun or something.
-Moody much?!

p.s. I'm hugging my test books from London (Modern British History represent!!!) and wishing I was back there. Ugggghhhh. I want it so badly!
also, kdiddy pointed out that according to my myspace profile, my current location is Napoli, Italy. I can't figure out when/why I would have put that, but it's kind of hilarious...

with friends like mine, who needs enemies?!



i generally don't instigate problems between myself and my friends. moreso, i try to avoid drama and deal with more bullshit than i should because of it! after i did all of the shit i was supposed to (from london) and that shit didn't work out because the fuckheads in pittsburgh couldn't manage to get their shit together, i was willing to forgive/forget. at this point in my life, i am at least relatively used to being fucked over. and then to be openly disregarded and fucked over again? i would go through the "fool me once" rhetoric, but i'm not even sure it's worth it. but i am absolutely positive that i don't want to talk to either of you anymore - and i mean that. i can't be bothered by people who are so selfish. and for the record, i never asked to live with you in the first place. you asked me, so it's not like i was inconveniencing you. seriously, fuck you.



in other news, i am back in pittsburgh. and jobless. and stuff. and that's all i've really got for you. it's boring and i know it. yay.

i hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and whatnot. i love everything i got, mostly because it was either money or something i actually picked out. it kind of takes the fun out of opening presents, but there is no possible room for disappointment which is nice. I am now the proud owner of some liberal propaganda from kdiddy and my brother. They bought me "fast food nation", a book of the city steps of pittsburgh, a book concerning counterculture and how it is the basis of consumerism and a book of feminist essays. I can also say I am the proud owner of the following movies"

1. kill bill volume one
2. kill bill volume two
3. reservoir dogs
4. boondock saints
5. unbreakable
6. fight club
7. shaun of the dead
8. hero
9. shaolin soccer
10.the usual suspects

while i may have purchased some of these for myself, it was with money i had already received for christmas, so whatever. i also got some cute underwear, which my grandmother said was unnecessary since no one will see them (this can also be paired with the rant that follows this). annnnnddddd i got a scarf and a belt and some shirts. the end.

and now for something completely unrelated to christmas, a ( rant. )


ps. my family is also into gender roles and sticking with them. however, i can no longer rant about them because i am getting angry just thinking about it.

also, i need a haircut. does anyone have any suggestions?!

My roommate and her boyfriend are having a conversation. from what i could hear, it went a little bit like this:

her: you're weird x 2.
her: you're weird x infinity.
her: no you can't multiply infinity by infinity.
her: no you can't take the limit of 0 to infinity and multiply it by infinity
her: because the limit is infinity.
her: ohmygod finals.
her: tell me a story.
her: tell me a joke.

the end.

They are now discussing stomache acid. Hooray! Ohmygod I am lame.

Last night, I had a dream that hottest-boy-ever threw up on me and I wasn't incredibly offended... gross.... weird....

This evening, I went to the "Starbucks Experience". And by that I mean... my required brainwashing session. I got to watch all sorts of videos about Starbucks and got to listen to everyone discuss how the corporation is all about the partners (read: employees) and helping people in other countries, as well as preserving the environment and whatnot. We also did coffee tasting (read: drank black coffee that we french pressed); that shit is soooo nasty! There were a bunch of people in my errr class that I liked a whole bunch. So what did we do? Sat and discussed music like a bunch of dorks. Oh well.

ps. I fell in love with my instructor. He manages one of the other Starbucks coffees in downtown and is otherwise adorable. He seemed really familiar to me, and I realized it's because he used to work at the Starbucks in Oakland. In short, he is lovely and I am going to kill his girlfriend (who also lives in oakland). I clearly stalk well. (Not really. at all. *sigh*. haha.)

I will end this pathetic entry now. and officially go to bed before 12am. Wow. Lame.

ohmygod. I completely forgot to mention that I ended up getting a C in the class I thought I was going to fail and otherwise have to re-take. In short, my GPA should be fine (next year) for applying to study abroad programs. woooorrrrddd!!!!

I barely update anymore; I guess I really don't have much to say. Christmas is coming up and everyone who is getting a present from me should know that it's coming from starbucks. I am fairly sure I am not really exchanging presents with my friends, but it was never actually discussed. One of the things I hate the most is when someone gets something for me and I don't get them anything in return; I really can't fucking stand when that happens. I feel bad and shit... oh reciprocal giving, how I love thee.

Finals are threatening my life this week. Tomorrow morning at 8am I have a cultural anthropology final. If I don't get at least 100 out of 180 points on it, I will get a D in that class. I cannot believe I let my grade in that class get that shitty; it's all because I failed the last test. Acccckkkk. I guess, if nothing else, I can re-take the class eventually, though I would rather not do that. I guess the part about it that really bugs me is that it's an intro class. Even so, that fucker required a whole lot of reading I didn't really want to do. Oh well; I'm slowly learning. After said final, I have to write an essay for history (which I should be getting an A in) and one for urban studies (I hope to get an A in this class as well). After that, I don't have another final until Friday morning, which is quite nice and I'm not particularly worried about it at the moment.

In short, if I make it through the next 36 hours of my life, I will mostly be stress free and okay. After that time period, there's nothing that can really be done about my grades anyway. I honestly cannot wait until 12pm on Tuesday... *sigh*. Wish me luck in life until then? Hah.

ps. I also want to go see Fear Before tomorrow in Altoona, but I can only go if I get these essays done before (which I should be able to do with relative ease). While I really want to go to that show, I kind of don't care if I don't get to go because I would rather write two really bomb essays and secure A's in two classes than see a band i've already seen a billion (or just a few) times this year. Oh wellllll.


also, despite what my loving brother may think (hah), I am such a sucker for boys I have crushes on. It's really pathetic... or kind of cute, I guess. Nontheless, it is generally a waste of my time... and a pride stomper. acccckkk. eff that!

kill bill is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

coheed and cambria is love
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the mars volta is love
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let's go bowling is love
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kill bill is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

you are: the spin kick! You are dangerous when done
in a small space, people are scared crapless of
you!


Which moshpit move are you?
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WHY CAN'T I GET "WASHING CATS" IS LOVE?!?!?!

Last night I went to Hip-Hop night at the shadow lounge because a few of my friends were performing. During said performance, they emceed about the black revolution... to a bunch of hipster white people!!!! And i don't think anyone even noticed... it was awesome. On a related note, I hate the people who hang out there. Loathe them. Wish bad things upon them. Uuuuggghhh. The girl who was working the door is in my urban studies class and the recognized me; it was cute. And nice because, despite not providing my student ID, I got the discount or whatever. Yay. The next three weeks of my life are really really really going to suck. I intend to make them better by watching "Love Actually" every time I possibly can because it is the most awesome movie on earth. I watched it this past weekend with thirdbasestace, roellafatty and her sister paulie ann. Afterwards we, collectively, descided that we needed a boyfriend. You know what? I don't even care if it's a community boyfriend; I am a sharing kind of girl. Duh. Goodnight.

Saturday I saw Boys Night Out and they played "hold on tightly, let go lightly". And while it may not have sounded as awesome as it should have live, it was still brilliant and I enjoyed it a great deal. Since then, I've done close to nothing. Worked. You know; whatever.

Rachel and I are in the process of organizing skate and surf for this year. I make it sound like a big deal because it is and we need a bunch of people to go. Earlier this evening we constructed a list of people we intend to harrass into going; it should be fun. But seriously, I wish everyone I've asked to go would really come with us because it is totally worth the money and time and whatnot. I mean... do it for barb?

For my sociology class, we have to do a group debate project. The topic my class was assigned was "universal health care". Luckily I was put in the group that was for it. We met tonight to get the written portion together and I realized that the people in my class might just be retarded. In completing the writing portion, they didn't use any complex sentences, were generally redundant and wrote a whole bunch without saying much of anything. I felt like an asshole just showing up (the rest of the group had met up once prior to tonight) and being like "the grammar is fucking terrible, you can't write and this essay makes no sense", but it's totally true. I got a copy of what we wrote tonight and I am going to try to make it flow a little better and add some more concrete data and just send it to them and see if they're willing to use it. I cannot bear the thought of turning in what was written tonight.

Additionally, one other member of the group is for universal healthcare, one "it doesn't matter to" and the other girl didn't seem to want to talk about it (and she was the one doing the writing; how she got that job I may never know). I can not understand how such prevalent topics can seemingly not matter to so many people I know; it makes no sense. While health care may not matter to you right this fucking second, it will once you graduate college, can't find a job because the economy is shit and don't have any health insurance and something bad happens to you. Or maybe it doesn't matter to you personally... at this point in my life, even if I was dropped by my mom's health insurance, I could get coverage from Starbucks. But regardless of my personal position, that doesn't help my grandmother out any. Or my brother or Stacey (neither of them have any). That is ridiculous and shouldn't be an issue in an industrialized nation like this. I can't help but get really irritated over issues like this. While I don't necessarily consider myself a socialist (I am not educated about it enough to say that), I think that socialized health care is a brilliant idea and there are almost no cons to it. While I didn't intend for this to be a rant about health care (seeing as how there is not much being done about it right now anyway), the point is that it bothers me when people are apathetic to such causes. Even if someone harbors a view that is the antithesis of mine, I can at least respect them for having an opinion (regardless of how ignorant I may or may not think it is).

In short, the majority of my friends lack convictions of any sort and it is really starting to bother me. When people say that the issues just don't pertain to them, they are probably admitting to the greatest level of ignorance humanly possible. You don't ever have to agree with me; I can agree to disagree with anyone. I struggle, however, with accepting the fact that I am surrounded by people who are opinionless and otherwise wastes of space

This might make little to no sense, but I didn't intend it to be that way. This is also not a personal attack on any of my friends, just on the general demographic I can currently be found in.

Okay okay okay. I don't really have much to talk about in here because well, nothing too interesting has been going on with me. I work a lot and I love everyone I work with. I consistently burn my left pointer finger in the same place with coffee everytime I work in the morning and it always hurts a-fucking-lot. I watch the golden girls way too much, go home a lot, use the internet excessively while accomplishing nothing, still have crushes on every boy ever, take way too many naps which cause me to stay up late into the night (ahem. RIGHT NOW), spend all sorts of money I don't have and think i'm better than everyone else (I am mostly kidding on this one. Okay, I'm lying). As you can see, not much has changed.

Maria said something really funny earlier:
tootsieroell: i feel like you got 1600034939idejdf times hotter since i left

Thanks for stroking my ego, asshole. I disagree. I am still the same as before I just know a bunch of ignorant fucks now. Hah. Awesome.

I cannot wait for thanksgiving break. I mean, I am still in pittsburgh so it's not a big change for me. But I get to see maria and I miss her a great deal. We are going to get together and get our hurrrr cut, get pierced and watch "children shouldn't play with dead things". We are also going to the beehive to stalk my lover. HAH.

Friday is Light Up Night. I'm going this year. Not only am I going, but I'm going at a fucking reasonable time. For the past three years, I've missed almost everything interesting that goes on downtown. I'm going to be there this year... trust me. Anyone interested in going with me? It might not be much fun by myself... ya'll know how that is. I am clearly not self-sufficient.

Announcement:

Skate And Surf Festival (2005): May 13, 14, 15

Okay, okay. Who's fucking going with me? darivsa best be going with me. I mean, where would I be in life without all of my barb stories? (sorrowsleeps? themattadams? roellafatty?) But seriously, I had so much fun last year, I cannot wait to go back. I am out of school by then, so it won't be a problem for me at all. I am so excited already and they haven't even begun to announce the lineup. AHHHHHHHH. It would be nice to know a few cars worth of people going... and to share a hotel room and such, but I'm not sure how well that would work out. Anyone who's interested should get in touch with me about it. I don't know when tickets go onsale or anything, but they seemed to sell out relatively fast last year. In short, I am really fucking excited right now. WOOHOOO!!!!!

Okay... so remember when I woke up one day and was registered republican? Well, I probably told you (or maybe I didn't) that it was because of a voter registration scam kind of thing. The entire thing makes me feel like the biggest retard on earth and I kind of don't like talking about it. Well, one way or another my friend Margot (whom this also happened to) got in touch with The Daily Show and they're interviewing her at her house tomorrow at noon. She thinks I should go and join her, but I'm not completely sure if I should. I mean, it will make it clear exactly how retarded I am, but I am still irritated that I was registered as a republican and had my polling place changed. It wasn't anything more than in inconvenience for me because I live so close to campus. Had I lived any further away, it would have taken away my ability to vote at all. So what do you guys think I should do.... go to the taping or whatever or not? She thinks I'll regret it if I don't... she might be right. *sigh*.

with exception to one person on my list, none of you know what it's like to wake up at 4am [because you had to work at 5] and be awake all day until midnight on three (or less) hours of sleep. and needless to say, i wouldn't run around recommending it to any of you either. i have a test tomorrow in sociology (the class i attend the least), and it's probably going to suck. oh well. too late now. i have a test on wednesday in cultural anthropology; not much studying will be had for that either. tomorrow i'm going to see taking back sunday and i come back on wednesday morning only to make my schedule for next semester. in short, i have no time to do anything in the next three days. luckily enough, i don't have to work. i would much rather be busy than listless, so i wish this didn't sound so much like an endless whine. but you'll have that when the lack of sleep mixes with pure frustration at everything. i was in a very good mood until i fell asleep at like 1030; that totally cramped my style. i can't decide whether to finish the outline for that paper, attempt to study for sociology, try to further plan my schedule or just go to sleep. i am leaning toward the latter..... i can't wait until thanksgiving. i need a few days of NOT school. woooohooo!!!!


and sometimes, i am proud at my ability to speak eloquently and in an obviously condescending tone. actually, i always think it's pretty fucking awesome.

I've been meaning to update for awhile, but I don't really have anything to say. I really wish george bush wouldn't steal another election, but I'm not really in a position to do anything about it. I voted, which is more than a lot of people I even know. I don't know.

I am getting bronchitis again and it really sucks. That means I have to get a new doctor and then, after checking me like whoa, they can tell me that I am right about what I have. Motherfuckers.

Halloween weekend was cool, I think. It was all kinds of confusing for me, but you'll have that. A highlight was me getting harrassed at a haunted house by some dudes with some chainsaws. Another was when I found a certain pacific islander (hah) at both the beehive and ETID/DEP. That show in general was a lot of fun. Friday I met a loooott of new people. Among these new people was a girl with the most insane boobs on earth. I don't mean to suggest they were good; they were actually really gross and I wanted to cry and/or vomit everytime I saw them. True story. I am sad I didn't have a pumpkin and that I missed trick or treating. My nephew who's almost three got dressed up as Flava Flav. Weird right? I thought so.

I worked today for like five hours. I really like the people I work with. It sucks that I have to work on saturday from 6am-11am. But it sucks even worse that next monday/wednesday I work from 5am-10am. Yep. You heard correctly. I will be so fucking grumpy. Hahahaha. But it's all good. At this point, I still mostly don't know what's going on and otherwise have a good time while I'm there.

I am sad that Jonah didn't win what he was running for, but I guess no one expected him to win.

I love hanging out with Marissa. We are going to make new friends.... together!!! Haha. I am actually not bad at being sociable. I just usually avoid such situations. I am trying to make myself go out and do things more, and I guess it's working. Blaaaahhh. I have about five books I need to read by next week and I haven't even touched three of them. Uggggghhhh. Why is college succeeding in kicking my ass? Now is a bad time to realize that it is absolutely necessary to stay up to date on the readings. Mostly because it is too late to really catch up or make up for what I haven't read so far.

I am rambling like a motherfucker. Some of you know how badass me and marissa are because of what we did last night, but the rest of you have no idea. And I am never going to tell you about it. Hahaha. Because I am awesome. I would also greatly appreciate it if none of you talked about it on here. You know... keep it "hush, hush" if you will. Pssshhh. Like that's even fucking possible!!!!

awesome story: saturday i saw story of the year. i had to go to the bathroom. i took the phone out of my pocket and put it on the back of the toilet (so that it didn't fall out of my pocket and into the toilet)... it fell off of the back of the toilet and broke.

soooo. on sunday i call ATnT and they send me a new one.... i get it last night. i finally print out a really cool looking cover for it and am very excited about my new phone in all of its beautiful glory.

tonight... i have to go to the bathroom..... so i go to take it out of my pocket (so it doesn't drop in the toilet) and this new... string/handle thing my mother told me to put on it gets stuck to my pants. what happens? it falls in the toilet.

two phones and five days later, i am really fucking irritated and without a phone for god knows how long. i totally don't have the money to replace it. is it weird that i am laughing and crying at the same time? ugggghhhhh.





on a much brighter note:

Kirby Puckett: decembe 17th wanna go to NJ for:
The lineup includes The Blood Brothers, From Autumn To Ashes, Poison The Well, Unearth, Boys Night Out, From First To Last, Folly and Seamless. Additions to the lineup may happen so keep an eye on WSOU for details. The station will announce all the info this coming Friday at 4 PM EST. WSOU can be heard from anywhere in the New York/New Jersey Metro Area at 89.5 FM or online at wsou.net."

i need to go to that. Or not...